30 YEARS AGO...POISON'S "OPEN UP AND SAY...AHH!" ROCKED THE WORLD

   The second part of the 80s was swept by the glam metal movement and suddenly it was teased hair and lipstick all over the goddamn place. Of course the whole glitter-and-tight-leather-pants thing was no news by that time, but the late 80s were all about it.

   Poison is one of the first bands that comes to mind when you think of glam or 80s rock in general. How can anyone forget the four sparkly ladi-uhm, dudes, on the cover of their debut "Look What The Cat Dragged In"? Even by today's standards, it's an image that burns on your retina. And those clueless bastards that have never had any interest whatsoever in (80s) rock and may never have been graced by the sight of the most prettily dolled-up guys in cover art history, have not escaped without having, at some point or another, being swept over by the wave of emotion that "Every Rose Has Its Thorn" carries with it. For this is one of the most overplayed power ballads in the history of power ballads, if not just one of the most overplayed rock songs, period.

   Ah, how quickly time passes. It was only 30 years ago that "Every Rose Has Its Thorn" first rode the radiowaves and scored a #1 hit on the Billboard. The first and last #1 for the band.

   The sophomore album of hairsprayed rabid sex dolls Poison came out on May 3rd 1988 and it proved their most successful release before they got more sophisticated and public interest in them plummeted. And let's not forget: the #1 earsore was featured in this album.

   Originally set to be titled "Swallow This", controversy started as early as the very release of the album, since the cover artwork upset some people. Oh not because it was fucking ugly. Because it was obviously satanic. Church groups screamed, parents whined, and major retailers refused to stock it, resulting in an even uglier, censored version of it, for the sake of album sales. Well the prudish retailers were alright with the outcome and stocked the album normally. Album sales continued undisturbed, the female demon that looks disturbingly much like my cousin was (partially) obscured, everyone was happy.

   Like with everything else Poison-related the album has been mercilessly judged and scorned for its lack of depth, light-heartedness, sleazyness, skillessness...is that even a word? Anything and everything said about it may or may not be true. It really depends on how you look at it. But people tend to forget that Poison never were social activists, nor did they try to be fucking Mozart. They were a glam metal party band, a feel good band, something you listened to just for the sake of enjoyment. They were supposed to make music to rock to, and that they did. And they did it well too.

   The album kicks in with "Love on the Rocks", a powerful and hooking riff true to Poison's signature sound with slightly sleazy lyrics, followed by single nr. 1, "Nothin' but a Good Time", a slightly indifferent song perfect for background noise in a bar, but with surprisingly oriented lyrics (the woes of being a working man) and fun, catchy chorus and solo. The next song, "Back to the Rocking Horse", has just enough cowbell on the intro to entice you not to take it seriously, but it is such a fun rocking song that it soon develops into a replay-button addiction that you really want to dance to.

   And then you have "Good Love". Rather soft and loaded up with harmonica, this sex themed song reeks of 80s from a mile away, and as cheesy as it seems, it is even more fun. The definite feel good song, an essential party hit, and oh, let's not forget that at some point you will be concerned about Bret's overall well-being with that nympho girlfriend of his...nah, he seems fine.
 
"Tearin' Down the Walls" is another power loaded rocker, perfect for rocking out in crowded arenas, screaming the lyrics alongside the music till you're hoarse or collapse from dehydration. And that concludes side A.

   Side B is the singles side, containing 3 out of 4 singles in its 5-song capacity. Poison are an overall fun band to listen to, and that applies to the opening track for side B. "Look But You Can't Touch" is a fun, head-bobbing song, but that's as far as it goes. Then comes single nr. 2, "Fallen Angel", a good song by all accounts, telling the story of a young girl from the countryside who comes to LA to pursue fame... sounds familiar? The riff hooks you right away, the guitar solos are full and savory, and the song ends with the chorus repeated until it fades, leaving you with a bittersweet taste of lost innocence, days past, and memories of bright neon lights... nothing wanting in this song, really.

   And then comes single nr. 3, also known as one of the best power ballads ever written, aka the most overplayed song of its kind, in other words, "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". No introduction needed. You either love it or you hate it. You all have heard that song, and if you are just starting out, well, I don't even need to tell you to listen to it cause it's on the Rock Essentials 101 list, as well as pretty much every other list that has anything to do with rock, 80s, ballads, lovesongs, heartbreak... you get the idea. For mention's sake let me point out again it's the band's first and only #1 charts position, it was written while touring when, after a show in Texas, frontman Bret Michaels called his girlfriend back in LA only to find out she was cheating on him, and to quote Mr. Michaels himself, "This was back before anyone thought about a crossover. We had 'Every Rose Has Its Thorn' at #1 Pop, #1 Rock, and Top 40 Country, which was unheard of". Trully this one has an unmistakable country-ish feel to it, obviously influenced by the Dallas atmosphere (thankfully not by the Laundromat atmosphere, which is where heartbroken Bret Michaels retreated to pour his sorrows out over an acoustic guitar). The very song that initiated many a rocker into Poison or the glam metal movement in its entirety is nothing like the rest of Poison or glam metal at all. Oh well. Whatever works. And if that long rant about a song half the population wants to never hear again and the other half (myself included) likes to cry their eyes out to was not enough, here you can read up on it, and most importantly, on what Bret has to say about it. Oh, by the way, did you know there's a full-fledged country version of it? Yup.
 
   And then comes single nr. 4, a Loggings and Messina cover that goes by the name "Your Mama Don't Dance". Doesn't sound too much like Poison as we know it, doesn't sound much at all like the 1972 original, but was a big hit back then and remains fun to this day. And then the album closer, "Bad to be Good". Comes on a little heavier than the rest of the songs on this album, and starts slightly off, but once the music kicks full in it's unmistakably Poison.

   The 20th Anniversary edition (whew, all the way back in 2008! Say, what lame fashion were you rocking back then when you were a teenager?) featured two bonus tracks, the first being "Livin' for the Minute", a hard rocking, albeit slightly raw, demo, that was the original  B-side to the "Every Rose Has Its Thorn" 7" single, and a ten-plus-something interview that seems to be a bit of a rarity.

   Going platinum within the first year of its release, and certified 5x platinum by '91, "Open Up and Say...Ahh!" peaked at #2 on the US Billboard 200 by sheer timing only, as Bon Jovi's "New Jersey" was released later on in the year. Still "Every Rose Has Its Thorn" remained on the top of the charts for three consecutived weeks all the way into 1989.

   Well it's been a good three decades since then, but the album is as good and fun as it was in '88. The original lineup as it was on the album is back together and rocking still, and whether you love rocking to the album or see it as a 50-50 fillers-to-rock ratio, you can't deny, it's a genre classic.